We knew each other for years. But, we didn't know we liked each other. So I had to make the move. I held a house party that I invited him to so I could get a chance to speak to him on a more seriuos level. Three whole months, we were constantly talking, texting and seeing each other at events held by mutual friends. We were unofficially courting. He would send me sweet text messages in Ibo, his mother tongue. I would reply in french. The language I am learning at the moment. On Sunday he arranged to meet up with me because he wanted to see me and he had stuff to tell me. I happily agreed. Little did I know, it would be the day my heart cried.
We sat there in Nandos, ordered a huge meal that we couldn't even finish. Just being in his company made me feel so special. Then we got talking. First it was the silly little talk, then it got more comprehensive. He told me how the last few months had been a special and beautiful chapter in his life, a chapter he would hold dear for eternity. But a relationship at the moment is not what we can have. He wants to explore the world first and focus on his religion. I want to also focus on my religion along with my studies. He also said if our affection could stand the test of time then we could have a successful future together. At the moment it can't happen.
I cried. My heart jumped out my chest. Knowing the one you truly love is putting an unofficial relationship on hold. Yesterday I called him, I told him if we're not in a relationship, then I can't continue to keep any form of communication because it would be a temptation to express my affection to him even though we agreed we keep our distance. We had to turn the page. The hardest part of losing the you're connected to, your heart cries.
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